“So let me go down and take a look. I have this cool ability call Mask of Many Faces (a glorified Disguise Self, but for Warlocks) that I can cast at will and it lasts for about an hour. I reckon I can have a bit of a look around and case out the joint. You know, see what we might be up against.” I manage to get this out among the competing ideas of this massive party of seven. I’m starting to learn when there pauses are in this particular group and figure out what words to say to get them motivated to do a task – which is good because my charisma is supposed to be the shiz. So now, here I am and they have all stopped talking and are all staring at me waiting for me to explain.
Bugger, I don’t really know what to say. I often don’t get this far. Imagine if house cats could play Dungeons and Dragons. Come on, look deep. Think about their behaviour. That’s it. There you go, that’s us. We are far from a cohesive group of players. First, our characters are pretty diverse and the sheer number of chaotic good/neutral in our groups suggest that these lone wolf-kittens would much prefer to go it alone.
Okay, here goes, “Look, I will be extra careful and I certainly won’t engage.”
“If you start attacking something in there, I’m just going to leave you there to rot. I’m sick of people not following to plan and thinking they can take on any battle only to realise that they are, once again dead,” Our gruff dwarven cleric mutters, with no small amount of out of character irritance in her voice.
I empathise with her, I really do. We have a problem. Our party really finds it difficult to comprehend the concept of reconnaissance. You know, having a sneaky peak of the baddies, or maybe testing their strength a little before withdrawing (without having used a spell slot) to come up with a solid plan.
For some of our party, they blame our utter inability to follow instruction, which is hilariously ironic considering we are all teachers. And this is quite true, but I think there are a few other things at play here too and they all result in one thing – boredom.
Murmerings of slave trade, increased Orcan raids from the southern plains and, tensions between the dwarvish empire of Todimn and the elves of the Alastian Empire are putting considerable strain on the VesluvianEmpire and the region. Patrician of Vesluvia, Lord Vecevious, may not be able to hold on to this hard won peace that he forged some fifty years past. Will there be war or can someone forge out a new peace to the region.
Little do the leaders of these realms know, something old, something dark, something from those Forgotten Territories now only mentioned in song and stories to scare children is causing the decent and unrest among the empires in an attempt to weaken them. The followers of Troustar – a dark being set on returning the Forgotten Territories to it’s former glory – are working in the shadows to create war.
So, I think it is pretty safe to say that no one really reads the first blog of a webpage. Okay, to be perfectly honest, for those of who you managed to drunkenly find the ass-end of a Google search and make your way to this deep dark section of the web, you really are a traveller, a hero of epic proportion charting the very reaches of society…or you are just lost.
Well, no one said life in fantasy land would be all candied unicorn turds and scantily clad gnomes. It takes hard work I tells ya! Hard work! And you of all people should know that to seduce a hag, always make sure you gift her with a new set of dentures – metaphorically speaking.
Confused? Me too.
So what have I been up to since last you saw me, you ask. Well, that’s a bit of a creepy question, champ, considering that you don’t even know me, but bugger it, this dwarfish grog is going down a treat, so I am happy to indulge.
First, I finally had a captive audience to learn and play Dungeons and Dragons with. No, I didn’t take the usual route of forcing my wife to pop out sufficient progeny and then painstakingly program them to love geeky shizzle (yep, the first izzle reference. *self five*) before they can finally be useful enough to play – or daddy is gonna get very cranky.
Much too sloppy, far too slow and way too prone to error and possible accidental deaths.